For one thing, I'm possibly just too close to the situation. I'm so "in it" that it makes it hard to write about it.
For another, I already have a day job. In addition to the night job as Dylan's mom. And the Den Leader job. And let's not forget the wife job. Being the wife of a wannabe Rock Star is not all music and roses.
Mostly, I just think I'm losing my mind. There aren't enough hours to be mom, wife, den leader, blogger and, oh, yeah, myself
Today was a good example. At work, I'm frantically trying to squeeze in some real work that moves one of our projects further, but not having much success amidst various meetings. During lunch break, I'm working on den stuff. And this afternoon I'm trying to work on a job description because my amazing and fabulous assistant will be leaving the city soon. So it won't be long before I'm doing the job of two people, and the track record of our Human Resources department suggests that it will be September at the earliest before I have another assistant.
Today, I leave work early so Dylan can go to tutoring. Tutoring that might be a good thing if Dylan could go more than once a week, but considering we can't even afford the once a week, we try to make the one time enough. Today, tutoring puts homework behind but thankfully Dylan's meds are working fairly well. (He is back on the Metadate after our failed Vyvanse experiment.)
At home, he's back on homework, while I run to the grocery so I can come home and cook. Again, he's doing well. Difficult on transition from one subject to another, but much better than I've seen in the past few weeks. At least he's trying.
But before I know it, dinner's on, homework's not quite done and Dylan obviously needs to call it quits. We eat, then he's off to bed. Amazingly, he falls a sleep in a snap, which gives me a few minutes to pay bills and da-da-dada, blog a bit!
I want this to be better. I want to find my blog voice and develop a following. Something, quite honestly, that's mutually satisfying: I'm helpful to people and they provide ideas in return. We all benefit. But I don't feel it's quite there yet and I wonder if I can amidst all the stress.
But, I'll keep trying.
In the meantime, I'd like to encourage you to fill out a survey. I received the following:
My name is Erica Merson and I am doctoral student from University of Maryland, College Park. I am conducting a research study to learn more about the experiences of mothers of children with ADHD to eventually use this knowledge to improve the understanding and treatment of families of children with ADHD. I am looking to recruit mothers of 5-13 year old children who have received a diagnosis of ADHD. Participants would complete an online, confidential questionnaire that asks questions about psychological health, relationships, employment characteristics, and parenting behaviors. As compensation, participants will be offered the chance to enter into a lottery to win one of three $25 Amazon gift cards. Those who are interested can follow the link below to the study.
I work for a research university and I know how important these surveys can be. This really does help move the science of ADHD along. I don't know about y'all, but I want more answers. I'd like more surveys and research conducted. Some say - well, we know that. But you can't go on just anecdotal knowledge. Until you have the data, you can't show what's really cause and affect. So I urge you to fill it out! Who knows, maybe you'll be a lucky gift card winner.