tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23530256314596414382024-03-13T14:41:33.914-05:00The Argonne ChroniclesTales from my mixed-up life: mom of a creative and imaginative boy with ADHD; wife of a wannabe rock star; and a communications professional who yearns to be a successful fiction writer who travels the world.HynesMomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10918950206079506047noreply@blogger.comBlogger113125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2353025631459641438.post-22910677738925696982013-08-17T21:41:00.001-05:002013-08-17T21:41:47.615-05:00We can rebuild him. He is the Six Billion Star Man.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-cZfdeENZwmU/UhA0E93iWxI/AAAAAAAAANc/_anWEU39cfQ/s1600/6743500811.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="261" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-cZfdeENZwmU/UhA0E93iWxI/AAAAAAAAANc/_anWEU39cfQ/s320/6743500811.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My son. A boy barely registering in self-esteem. Repeating fifth grade. Report card in the dumps.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We can rebuild him. We have the tech-nature-y. He is <b>The Six Billion Star Man.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If you weren't a child in the '70s, you might completely lost by the above description. But if you did grow up in the '70s, you remember the set-up from <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Six_Million_Dollar_Man" target="_blank"><i>The Six Million Dollar Man</i></a>, a fictional account of the world's first bionic man. (There was a sequel series, to give equal time to both genders, called <i>The Bionic Woman</i>.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After retrieving Dylan from <a href="http://www.soarnc.org/" target="_blank">SOAR camp</a>, I feel sort of like he's the Six Million Dollar Man. He does feel at least somewhat rebuilt. It seems as though spending three and a half weeks in the woods amongst a billion stars has done a lot to push the reset button.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Is everything perfect? Do I have nothing more to worry about? Hardly. But he seems more aware of his moods and less prone to overreact. I was a nervous wreck about him going back to the same school, repeating fifth grade. Yet, the night before school started, he said he was sort of looking forward to going back! I was pretty speechless.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Now, we're only two days in. The real bulk of schoolwork hasn't started. But I still can't help feeling excited about the changes in him.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">He has about a million mosquito bites on his legs, but he sees them as a badge of courage. He's eager to tell you about whitewater rafting, and rappelling, and tubing.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I had worried, too, when he left that he'd be miserably homesick for the entire time. He <b>was</b> homesick. But he got past it and now he's looking forward to Boy Scout camping trips, knowing he can handle it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I even worried that I'd get a call asking me to come get him. However, at our debrief, we were told how he approached every day with a smile on his face, eager to try more. He got praise for his willingness to work hard in academics. His counselor said he was the only one who wanted to read the interpretive signs in the parks and museum they visited.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Richard Louv, author of <i>Last Child in the Woods</i>, wonders if ADHD is really <a href="http://www.childrenandnature.org/about/ndd/" target="_blank">nature deficit disorder</a>. While I don't think Dylan's problems could be solved with a weekly dose of nature, I think nature is a great place for kids like him. We could never afford it, but SOAR even has a school-year academy where kids are in school two weeks on/two weeks "off" when they go on nature expeditions that tie into their schoolwork. How perfect for these visual and kinesthetic learners! I wish regular schools could learn a lesson or two from a school like this. It would certainly be a better idea than Common Core and endless testing.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The send up of all this is that SOAR was a roaring success. Dylan learned skills and more importantly learn things about himself he can carry with him as part of his personal tool kit.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Kind of like a bionic power pack that keeps the Six Billion Star Man going. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">(c) <i>The Argonne Chronicles, </i>2013</span> </span>HynesMomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10918950206079506047noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2353025631459641438.post-77144601718148458012013-07-29T13:02:00.001-05:002013-07-29T13:02:39.610-05:00My child is SOARing<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It has been 19 days since I last saw my son. We have <i><b>never</b></i> been separated this long, and even when we have, it's usually because I have been away on business. This time he has been away.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After a lot of thought and consideration, we decided to send him to <a href="http://www.soarnc.org/" target="_blank">SOAR camp</a>. SOAR is: Success Oriented Achievement Realized. For a lot of reasons, Dylan has been on a downward spiral and I felt as though we needed to do something dramatic to break it. I want him to be able to believe in himself and be able to persevere through things that are challenging.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">There's no real clearinghouse for finding what we were looking for. No algorithm to plug in the variables and get an output that would give us the ideal choices customized for our situation. Basically, we had to go on gut instinct.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">SOAR is in North Carolina, so it was not an easy decision to make. There is a local school that has a camp for kids with learning disabilities. But it was just a week and only half days. I just didn't see what five days at three hours a day was going to do (plus there was the issue of who would pick him up at noon every day?).</span><br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-80VetlyvAWI/UfatJiB9KCI/AAAAAAAAANI/3JOUKXduXbM/s1600/5073867415.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-80VetlyvAWI/UfatJiB9KCI/AAAAAAAAANI/3JOUKXduXbM/s320/5073867415.jpg" width="224" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">This is not an actual SOAR pic, but camp there does include <br />rock climbing, backpacking, white water rafting, and more</span>.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-3ynwOB6LoYo/Ufas7iloerI/AAAAAAAAANA/MsjPgcRM5AE/s1600/599975_10151180610428075_302284966_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">SOAR has been in the business nearly 40 years. The executive director, himself, has struggled with ADHD and learning disabilities, as have his kids. On top of that, Penny Williams, the original founder of <a href="http://adhdmomma.com/" target="_blank">A Mom's View of ADHD</a>, attended the family weekend program and was blown away. All of that was very promising.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Generally, when I told people that Dylan was going to camp for 26 days their mouths dropped open. Some said they could never send their kids away for that long. Others recovered and agreed that it sounded like a good idea. The best response, however, came from the owner of the occupational therapy center where Dylan has gone for OT. She pointed out that it takes 21 days to form a habit. He just gets five extra to confirm it!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I heard nothing at first. Kids aren't really allowed to call and parents can't just pick up the phone and call to talk to their kids, either. You can send letters and emails; just no calls. And I get it. In fact, mid-way through the program, when kids are scheduled to call home, a coworker asked why they had to mess up a good thing? In other words, if everything was going along fine and Dylan had gotten over any homesickness, why mess with that?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I understood her comment only too well, but I was also looking forward to talking to him. And he sounded great! Like he's having a blast! The counselor said that he did have some homesickness at first but they let him work through it. Perfect!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dylan's program is Academic Discovery, which combines classroom learning with adventure activities. He didn't have too much to say about the academics, which concerns me, but I'm hoping that the influence is deeper than even he realizes. We'll see when fifth grade starts all over again in a few weeks.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">For now, I just cannot wait to see him and hug him! I'm glad that he had this opportunity thanks to some funds from his grandmother and that we had the opportunity to give it to him.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">(c) The Argonne Chronicles, 2013</span> </span>HynesMomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10918950206079506047noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2353025631459641438.post-9473127600425735882013-07-15T13:27:00.002-05:002013-07-15T13:27:40.453-05:00Link to a great resource on building your child's self esteem<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I've mentioned before how much I love the Pragmatic Mom blog. Today, Mia has guest blogger Faigie Kobre talking about self-esteem in kids, something every parent of a child with ADHD struggles with. These are kids who are so often told what they do wrong but don't hear enough about what they do right.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Faigie gives some concrete ideas to help build esteem and the best part is she tells us that no matter your child's age "it's not too late!" There's lots of good, meaty info and I encourage you to <a href="http://www.pragmaticmom.com/2013/07/developing-kids-self-esteem/" target="_blank">check it out</a>!</span><br />
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HynesMomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10918950206079506047noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2353025631459641438.post-17444436458758580762013-06-12T08:46:00.000-05:002013-06-12T08:46:00.705-05:0010 ADHD Evacuation Tips<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">The first tropical storm of the season blew through Florida
last week. Tornados have wreaked havoc in Oklahoma and elsewhere. Then there
have been the freak thunder storms, fires, and other catastrophes impacting other parts of the country. No matter where
you are, it’s a good idea to think about what you would do if you had to
evacuate.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-6yW1yQFZnA0/UbVAUDx47MI/AAAAAAAAAMk/DA206_S8uMw/s1600/6082756890.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="201" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-6yW1yQFZnA0/UbVAUDx47MI/AAAAAAAAAMk/DA206_S8uMw/s320/6082756890.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Here in the Gulf South, we are no strangers to evacuation. I
hadn’t lived here a year before my first evacuation and Dylan was not quite 2
the first time we evacuated with him. Of course, I didn’t know about ADHD yet.
While I’ve heard plenty of parents say that their ADHD kids have been fussy and
grumpy since birth that was definitely not Dylan’s M.O. For his first
evacuation (Hurricane Ivan), we spent a whopping 16 hours in two separate
vehicles driving from New Orleans to Lafayette, LA. Keep in mind that a typical
drive to Lafayette takes less than three hours, so, yes, this was a miserably
long trip. Dylan slept through almost the whole thing and when he didn't sleep, he babbled to himself and watched what was going on outside the window.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">We’ve evacuated a few other times as a family, most notably
for Katrina. For that monster storm, we thankfully bugged out of town two days
ahead of time, sparing us from the extremes of both danger and traffic.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Evacuating is not for the faint of heart but it’s the right
thing to do. It’s always better to be safe than sorry. If catastrophe is
heading your way and you can avoid it, I recommend it. You might lose some time
and you’ll likely spend some money, but it’s better than losing your life or
the life of a loved one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Here are a few
tips:</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><u>Before Catastrophe Hits</u></span><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"></span><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span></span></div>
<br />
<ol>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Know When</b>.
Have a benchmark for when you’ll evacuate. For a hurricane, is it Category 1 in
the Gulf? Cat 3? In the Cone of Possibility or something more likely? Three
days away? One? For a tornado, which involves a much quicker decision making
process, there will be different benchmarks. Same thing with fires. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"></span><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> <br /><br />Everyone has a different level of risk
tolerance. Know yours. Know that waiting for higher risk often means more
crowded highways, less available gas, less of chance that you’ll actually make
it out of town before catastrophe hits. If being in a car is difficult for your
child, plan to leave early.<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"> </b></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Have a
Plan</b>. When you go, where are you going? Sometimes you can’t predict which
way the storm will come. Have contingencies. For Hurricane Gustave a few years
ago, we booked hotel rooms both East and West of New Orleans. I encouraged a
fellow member of our church to do the same. He said he wanted to wait until he
knew which way the storm was going. By the time he evacuated, all the hotels
were booked and he ended up driving for 24 hours straight before sleeping in
his car, along with his wife who has an anxiety condition. That could be
nightmarish for a child with ADHD or other conditions including anxiety,
autism, and sensory processing disorder.</span><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Book a
Room. </b>Don’t count on finding a hotel on the side of the road. Everyone’s
way ahead of you, unless you’ve left <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">really</i></b> early. I generally try to
book something when a storm enters the Gulf. Know the cancellation policy and
you can always cancel ahead of time. When necessary, I’ve paid for a night when
I still wasn’t sure just for peace of mind. Having a hotel room reserved is
especially necessary if you are traveling with pets. It also gives you a
destination, so you can tell your sequential thinker where you are headed.</span><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Plan for
Meds</b>. When we evacuated for Katrina, we figured we’d be gone for a few days
and then we would come back, pick up a few limbs, and get back to normal. Return ended
up being four months away; normal took a whole lot longer. I can only imagine
how much of a hassle it might’ve been had meds been an issue, especially since
stimulants don’t have automatic refills. If there’s a better than 50% chance you might
evacuate, see if your doc will write you an extra prescription to tide you over
until you get back (or until you find a new doc in your temporary secondary
home).</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Bring
Important Papers and Sentimental Items</b>. Along with insurance documents,
birth certificates, and your child's psychoeducational evaluation and 504 or IEP, let your child bring some of
their favorite things. You never know when disaster will really strike. Short term, they
will need the comfort and familiarity, and if the worst happens, they’ll have
some of the things that are meaningful for them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know this first hand. </span></li>
</ol>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><u>During Evacuation</u><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"> </span></span></span></div>
</blockquote>
<ol>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Have Car
Activities</b>. Just as with any long car trip, plan to keep your child
entertained. I’m very lucky that Dylan is a phenomenal traveler. We have
literally considered selling everything and buying a mobile home since Dylan’s
behavior is very consistently good while traveling. That said, I always have a
bag of tricks ready. When he was younger, this usually involved inexpensive
dollar store games and toys that were new to him but were small and weren’t
valuable. These days, it might be a new graphic novel or a new ap on my iPhone.
I’m not a fan of TV in the car, but if there ever was a time to have it, this
would be it.</span><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"> </b></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Stay
Hydrated. </b>But not too hydrated. Make sure everyone – especially the kids –
drink enough fluids, but not so much that you have to stop at every rest area
and large tree along the way. Dehydration can hasten and exacerbate melt downs.</span><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"></span></span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"></span></span></span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Follow
Routines.</b> As much as you can, keep to a normal time schedule so your child
won’t get hungry and will feel some semblance of normalcy on the road.</span><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"> </b></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Overlook (Some)
Bad Behavior</b>. Evacuation heightens everything and even with your efforts to
keep your routine, the situation will be anything but routine. Expect some
difficulty dealing with it expressed through back talk or bad behavior. Only
address things that cannot be ignored.</span><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"></span></span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Plan What
Happens After You Stop</b>. Dylan slept through that 16-hour marathon drive to
Lafayette. When we arrived, I had literally burst a blood vessel in my eye from
peering through the windshield so intensely all night long but Dylan was fresh
as a daisy, ready to GO. As tired as I was, I had to drive around looking for a
playground where he could burn off some energy.</span></li>
</ol>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"></span><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">If you can, share driving duties so
that someone will be awake enough to take on parenting duties when you arrive.
For the Ivan evacuation, we were in two vehicles since we had two dogs and a
child, and the camper top we had ordered for the truck hadn’t arrived in time.
(The truth was that it had arrived in time – twice – but the company didn’t
measure it right – both times.)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"></span><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
</span></blockquote>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Finally, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">try</i> to
make it fun. You’ll be stressed and so will your child, but it can also be an
adventure. Think outside the box – if you can afford it, maybe you can evacuate
to a resort or at least a motel with a pool. Spend some time seeing the sights.
Evacuating can be a pain and it can be a hassle. But if you’ve got to do it, you might
as well enjoy at least some of it.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">(c) The Argonne Chronicles, 2013</span> </span></div>
HynesMomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10918950206079506047noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2353025631459641438.post-46634285939803448702013-06-06T17:20:00.000-05:002013-06-10T22:23:05.716-05:00From Moms Charlotte: Life as a mom of a child with ADHD <span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Julie Greer McGrath launched an 8-week series this week on Moms Charlotte. I look forward to reading the rest of her tale. Unfortunately, you have the typical naysayers. When will the stigma end?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.charlotteobserver.com/2013/06/05/4087280/life-as-a-mom-of-a-child-with.html" target="_blank">http://www.charlotteobserver.com/2013/06/05/4087280/life-as-a-mom-of-a-child-with.html</a> </span>HynesMomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10918950206079506047noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2353025631459641438.post-48207901257102973812013-06-06T13:40:00.001-05:002013-06-09T15:36:37.421-05:00LD Navigator<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">The National Center for Learning Disabilities has just released the <b><a href="http://ldnavigator.ncld.org/" target="_blank">LD Navigator</a></b>. It's a tool designed for pediatricians, but it's great for anyone who wants to learn more about diagnosing learning disabilities. It has a great interactive design!</span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="211" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PyxJaw6zJes/UbDXGHXBa5I/AAAAAAAAAMU/CJr9uL6H8CY/s400/Navigator.JPG" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="400" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Visit <a href="http://ldnavigator.ncld.org/">ldnavigator.ncld.org</a> to see it in person!</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
HynesMomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10918950206079506047noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2353025631459641438.post-56719987600966343562013-06-05T14:28:00.002-05:002013-06-06T13:30:40.125-05:00From Smart Kids with Learning Disabilities: Changing Times: Challenges for Kids with ADHDI subscribe to <i>many, many</i> blogs and newsletters related to ADHD. I thought this was a great post on <a href="http://www.smartkidswithld.org/" target="_blank">Smart Kids with Learning Disabilities.</a><br />
<br />
<h2 class="pageTitle">
Changing Times: Challenges for Kids with ADHD</h2>
<br />
By Peg Dawson<br />
<br />
A generation ago, children with ADHD went undiagnosed; they were
often labeled “lazy” or “troublemaker,” and some dropped out of school
while many struggled to get through. But today more children are at risk
for school failure due to attention problems. Why? Because the skills
we expect children to master and the work we expect them to perform are
more complex than in the past. Homework is no longer a page of division
problems or a spelling worksheet. Kids now are asked to carry out
complicated projects with multiple steps and scoring rubrics that
resemble procedures from a NASA engineer’s manual.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.smartkidswithld.org/hot-topics/changing-times-challenges-for-kids-with-adhd-2" target="_blank">In addition, youngsters today...</a>HynesMomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10918950206079506047noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2353025631459641438.post-87556345922808462013-05-18T14:47:00.000-05:002013-06-05T14:24:51.353-05:00More<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Note: This is another example of Blogger Scheduler not working. I have already gone to visit my mom and come back. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"> </span> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dealing with, addressing, trying to find solutions for Dylan's issues consumes me and weighs on me. Couple that with financial troubles and it's almost difficult for me to get through my work day.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And then there was <span style="color: purple;"><b>more</b></span>.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">For a few years now my mom has been battling bone cancer. It's odd to say, but up to now, it's actually gone well. Bone cancer is incurable, from what I understand, but she's gone through most of it really well.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You hear horror stories about chemotherapy, but the reality is that although it made her a little tired, she never lost a single strand of hair. She continued going out daily for coffee and meals. For a while, it almost became just an annoying part of life, like weekly allergy shots.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It got a little tougher when she started having breathing trouble. Mom smoked for fifty years, so breathing issues were not entirely unexpected (at least by me; it somehow came as a surprise to her). The doctors said that the chemo probably exacerbated the problem and brought it to the surface, but didn't directly cause it.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">At first, having to be on oxygen freaked her out way more than the chemotherapy ever did. She went into the hospital twice due more to the anxiety over it than anything else. After a while, however, she acclimated and actually the problems lessened. She didn't have to be on oxygen all the time and she got a little different system that was more manageble. She entered another phase of managing her cancer seemingly well, although she did have to curtail shopping (her greatest love) because her breath didn't have the stamina.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Then her ankles started to swell. She's actually had this problem for a long, long time, thanks to high blood pressure, but from what I understand, it was much, much worse. Steroids helped for a while, but they don't like you to be on them forever. She ended up having a nurse come in to wrap them. It became difficult for her to get around, but not impossible.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Even that became more manageable. But then she got tired. Really really REALLY tired. My mom has always been one to get out of the house every single day. She has a whole slew of coffee clatch regulars she would meet with and go out to dinner with. But she was finding that she couldn't do it. Worse, she didn't even want to.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">She feared the worst. And apparently the worst was true.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I don't know all the details. For starters, my mom is the one of the most independent people you will ever meet. She's also one of the least questioning people - meaning she will take in what doctors tell her without asking a lot of questions.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What seems clear is that the cancer that was held steady for so long is spreading. And the chemotherapy is no longer helping. She thinks it's now in her lungs, courtesy of a persistent cough. The doctors have told her there is nothing more they can do for her and to get her affairs in order.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I do not even know how to react to all this.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'm 1,500 miles away from her. What can I possibly do? How can I possibly be there for her when she needs me?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I feel like a failure as a daughter, even as I know that I would probably make all the same decisions over again.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dylan and I will fly up there next week to be with her. She doesn't have a lot of energy, but we are planning to see the new Star Trek movie. My mom was an original Trekkie and is still a huge fan. I'll also try to help start the mon-u-mental task of going through her stuff. She is a bit of a hoarder.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I don't know how to tell her all the things I should, especially with emotional, reactive Dylan right there with me. I don't know how to say final things or even how to deal with the fact that a year from now I might be celebrating Mother's Day without my mother.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'm sad, stunned, and empty. My mom is not the <i>Leave it Beaver</i> or <i>Brady Bunch</i> mom, but she's mine and I don't want to lose her. I want to go back in time and take those cigarettes out of her hand. I want to get her out and walk with her and force her to be healthy and eat right. But just as she couldn't change my decisions, I know I could never have changed hers.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">How have you dealt with the loss of a parent? How do you prepare? How do you ever get over it?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> <span style="font-size: xx-small;">(c) The Argonne <span style="font-size: xx-small;">Chronicles, 2013</span></span></span>HynesMomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10918950206079506047noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2353025631459641438.post-89780769225678894152013-05-15T14:13:00.000-05:002013-05-30T17:31:51.818-05:00What aren't we seeing<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Evidently, there's something not quite right with scheduling blogs on Blogger. This was supposed to post on 5/15. Apologies for the delay!</span> </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It's been a rough spring. We started 2013 with a SAT team meeting that earned Dylan direct intervention (RTI) but only in math. By the end of third quarter, it was obvious that intervention had helped (his math grade went from an F to a C) but he was still failing science and social studies. His reading and language grades were adequate to good, but that didn't really help him since the school wouldn't provide remediation for his failing subjects, only language/reading.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">His teacher, seeing the writing on the wall, suggested that we accept the fact that he will fail fifth grade and focus exclusively on math and not worry about science or social studies. Although I could totally see her point, I just couldn't agree with demonstrating to him that it was okay to let those subjects go. I wanted him to try.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Grades aren't final, but it looks like he will fail science for the third quarter in a row, while he will squeak by with a D in social studies. Stunningly, he will fail reading.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I wish I could say that the school is falling all over themselves to figure out what's going on and questioning why a child who has always passed reading is suddenly failing. But as usual, the school is rather relaxed in their approach. They have sent me a notice about a 2 week summer program in math, language, and reading, but they can't really tell me much about the program, especially how it will be different from Sept. - May instruction.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A few months ago, I applied for Dylan's admission to a local private school that strives to have a balanced mix of struggling learners, "regular" students, and gifted students in each class. Struggling learners are given the opportunity to work in very small groups in the subjects that they have trouble with. They also offer art at every grade level, science lab every week, and loads of interesting clubs. It sounded ideal for Dylan.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It also came with a big price tag but I took the plunge and applied for financial aid. After all, I was able to go to a pricey Seven Sisters college thanks to heavy financial aid. We aren't in such a different position than my mom was when I went to college.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A few weeks ago, Dylan spent the day there to test out his fit for the school. I know he had mixed feelings, but he was definitely open to the idea. He sees first-hand how he struggles and really does want to do well in school. That said, he has good friends where he is, so his emotions were conflicted, understandably so.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I got the call on Friday: Dylan was not accepted to the school. When I asked why, I was told that the teachers reported that Dylan seemed sad and didn't seem like he wanted to be there. Although that would seem like a good-enough reason why he shouldn't be there, the fact is I'm willing to bet his current teachers would report <i>the exact same thing</i>.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The fact is that he does seem sad a lot of the time. He doesn't interact with his class. He does shut down. And it's getting worse.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I was really angry last week when I realized that he had just filled in random multiple choice answers on a take-home test. Now that I have cooled off, I've started thinking about how his academic life has taken such a downward spiral. School seems to be practically painful for him. I don't doubt that he has ADHD, but I feel as though we are missing something. We know he has anxiety, but is that the real root of his problems? Is his anxiety really so much worse than we realized? Is it paralyzing him?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In July, Dylan will go to SOAR Camp for a 3-week academic/challenge course. He's excited about it and I'm hopeful. Maybe this is just what he needs - to be around kids like him and to be challenged, independently, to show who he is. Not to the other kids, but to himself. He needs to believe in himself; to believe he <u><b>CAN</b></u>. Because I know he can, and I want him to be able to show it to everyone else, especially the non-believers at his school.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">(c) The Argonne Chronicles, 2013</span></span>HynesMomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10918950206079506047noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2353025631459641438.post-63591707656363076792013-05-12T13:15:00.003-05:002013-05-12T13:15:43.558-05:00A Retrofit Update<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After my "week oneish" update, I'm sure you thought there'd be a week two update, or at least a month oneish update. Yeah, I did, too.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">But it's been a bit of a rough spring. I'll get into that in some future posts that I'm writing today and scheduling to appear later in the week. Right now, let me tell you about what it has been like to be on <a href="https://www.retrofitme.com/offer/BOLING" target="_blank">#Retrofit</a>.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">For starters, I have to again give props to <a href="http://www.pragmaticmom.com/" target="_blank">Pragmatic Mom</a>. It was from her fabulous blog that I earned the opportunity to try #Retrofit. #Retrofit is an online and Skype-based program that gives you access to tools, technology, and real people to help you get control of your life. That's right, I didn't say that it helps you lose weight. Although it never quite says it this way, it's obvious that the underlying philosophy of #Retrofit is to help you manage your life so that food is neither the center of it nor the "go to" in times of trouble.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You get in-person access to three professionals. (It was actually four when I first started the program, but they have changed things up a bit.) Going along with you on this journey is a life coach who acts as your in-person program manager, a dietician who helps you work through your food choices, and an exercise physiologist who helps you incorporate more activity into your day.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You are also provided with lots of tools. For instance, I have a FitBit pedometer/accelerometer that now goes with me everywhere, tracking my steps, how active I am, even how many stairways I climb. It's pretty amazing what it can tell! I also weigh in on a scale they provided to me and it logs my weight online. I track all of my food and exercises on the #Retrofit timeline. Or I did...my dietician is now having me photolog my food choices on a different site - Meallogger.com. Since the beginning, I've also been sent a heart monitor and some exercise tubes.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It seemed really easy at first. It didn't seem that different from my normal way of eating. But unless you do something different, you get the same results you always got, right? So the scale wasn't moving much at all. And I was getting discouraged.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My team was supportive and gentle, but showed me that even though I wasn't gorging on Ben and Jerry's every day, maybe I wasn't being as careful as I ought to be. I admit I hate the idea of trying to be perfect because my life is faaaaaar from perfect! It was obvious, though, that I had to be more careful. So I almost completely cut wine out of my weekdays. I got real careful about taking a bite of Dylan's meal here, a taste of what I was making there.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I also focused more on getting steps. This was harder in some ways because I really do have very little "fat" in my day to borrow from. At work, I'm sitting in a chair all day in front of a computer. It's not an active job. My exercise physiologist suggested I try to walk around the building a couple of times and add four flights of stairs. I thought the walk around would be easy and the stairs hard. Turns out it was the reverse. Getting out of the building seems to be a major commitment, but I've started getting some flights in every time I use the restroom.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">S l o w l y it's been working. I've lost about nine pounds and I hope to make it ten before I go to my college reunion next weekend. I am beginning to learn how to live my life differently. When faced with a buffet of menu choices, I try to think about which ones are lowest in calories and, importantly, which ones are <i>balanced</i> choices? If I have to attend the PTO meeting or run an errand, I try to walk there. It's making a difference, without being so radical that it's not maintainable.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Best of all, I have some pants that feel slightly loose! Not I-have-to-buy-a-new-pair-today-before-someone-laughs-at-me loose, but loose enough to feel great when I put them on.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In a way, I'm glad I haven't been giving you weekly updates. You might've become discouraged and not had much faith in the program. You might not have stuck around to see the beginnings of my success!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Think you might be interested in trying it? It <u><b>is</b></u> a commitment, but sometimes a commitment is the only way you will get the job done. If you want to give it a try, visit <a href="https://www.retrofitme.com/offer/BOLING" target="_blank">this link</a>. #Retrofit will know that I referred you and that I appreciate the help they have given me so far.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Try it! All you have to lose is weight. And all you have to gain is <b>YOU</b>.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">(C) The Argonne Chronicles, 2013</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>HynesMomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10918950206079506047noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2353025631459641438.post-35692461276374892342013-02-24T17:15:00.000-06:002013-02-24T17:15:14.570-06:00#Retrofit: A Week Oneish Update<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This past week really felt like my first real week of #Retrofit. The program is very different from others I've tried or even viewed from afar. There's no set "starting point." There's no quick start or even a set meal plan. That's actually the point of the program. They want to teach you to eat well and healthy for life. It's all about developing good practices and making them a normal part of your life.</span><br />
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<a href="http://www.choosemyplate.gov/images/MyPlateImages/JPG/myplate_magenta.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="http://www.choosemyplate.gov/images/MyPlateImages/JPG/myplate_magenta.jpg" border="0" class="decoded" height="181" src="http://www.choosemyplate.gov/images/MyPlateImages/JPG/myplate_magenta.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Still, after I spoke with my nutritionist, Stefanie, I felt like I was at the starting point. She didn't have any surprising or life-altering news about eating to share with me. In fact, among the resources she did share with me was the visual from the government's <a href="http://www.choosemyplate.gov/" target="_blank">My Plate</a> program, which replaced the Food Pyramid we all grew up with.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My Plate is all about balancing what you eat at every meal. It's a simple formula, really. About a quarter of your food should be protein, a quarter starch, and half your plate should be veggies and fruit. That's not so different from how I eat on a normal basis.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Planning my meals is even easier since I started using <a href="http://www.thefresh20.com/" target="_blank">The Fresh 20</a>. I know a lot of bloggers promote products and services on their blogs in return for freebies or some kind of remuneration. While I would love that to be the case here, it simply isn't so.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I learned about The Fresh 20 when I signed up for a Groupon offering their services at half price. It was at the end of last year and I knew for 2013 I really did want to try to do better at planning meals. Half price was a great deal, so I signed up.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I didn't really get going with it until late January, but I can tell you that I <i><b>love it. </b></i>The Fresh 20 really does make planning meals easy and the recipes are pretty easy and delicious! I've actually had interesting meals that are healthy and well balanced the past few weeks.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Now, I don't follow their plan precisely. Some weeks I only use 3-4 of the five recipes. I've also switched out quinoa (which I don't like) for brown rice or couscous or used ground beef in place of ground turkey if that's what I have in my fridge. Bottom line: We are not eating the same thing week after week.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">With all those healthy meals, I was fully prepared for at least a small loss. Unfortunately, the scale went <b>up</b> a little. Yes, I was disappointed, but I have to remember that with my back bothering me, I haven't been exercising. Maybe that's the reason? I'm crossing my fingers for this week! I'll report back and let you know.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">(c) The Argonne Chronicles, 2013</span> </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> </span>HynesMomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10918950206079506047noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2353025631459641438.post-13297299855359556842013-02-19T22:10:00.003-06:002013-02-19T22:11:21.715-06:00Just let me put the pieces together<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I had an interesting conversation with a staff person at my son's school today. Although she knows him well, today was the first day she really watched him try to do homework.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"Is he on medication for his ADHD?" she asked when I went to pick him up.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We talked about <i>all</i> the medications he's been on in the past 2-1/2 years. She was shocked. "Because usually they help them to settle down and focus," she said.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Don't I know it?!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We proceeded to talk for at least 15 minutes. She specializes on special ed and she said that his level of academic disability really qualifies for a school to pay for a "shadow," someone who would help to keep him on track. That is...he would qualify if we weren't at a charter school.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You know, at one time, I supported charter schools. After all, being a charter helped our school get back up and running after Katrina. But I'm learning that all the things I've heard about charters are true. They are exclusionary. They find ways to keep out the kids who bring the test scores down. They wear you down until you leave and go somewhere else.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So, on the one hand it was refreshing to have someone really <i>understand</i> what it's like to work with Flipper*, but on the other it was that sad, brutal understanding that no one can/will/wants to do anything about it. (Actually this teacher would LOVE to do something about it, but her hands are tied.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I feel as though helping my child is like working on a puzzle. I've got the picture of what it should look like - a picture of success with encouragement, self-esteem, and building on strengths. The only problem is that I've only been given half the puzzle pieces. I have to search for the other pieces and they are all in different places - online, at clinics, in doctor's offices, in teachers' classrooms, in learning centers. Sometimes, the puzzle pieces don't even seem to fit, or seem broken. Even more often, those puzzle pieces are out of my budget, so even if it looks like the <u>perfect</u> piece, I just can't buy it. I just can't help my son. I can't create that beautiful picture of success.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">(<span style="font-size: x-small;">c) The Argonne Chronicles, 2013</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">*I'm thinking about <span style="font-size: x-small;">giving my son an alter<span style="font-size: x-small;"> ego. What do you all think?</span></span> </span></span></span>HynesMomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10918950206079506047noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2353025631459641438.post-68905936972076716952013-02-14T17:20:00.002-06:002013-02-14T17:20:51.825-06:00Stalled launch?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-fKxLOhsJwjM/UR1tzTyIUoI/AAAAAAAAAKk/MJGJgG0FyG4/s1600/3686634733.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-fKxLOhsJwjM/UR1tzTyIUoI/AAAAAAAAAKk/MJGJgG0FyG4/s320/3686634733.jpg" width="199" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Okay, so I've launched, in that I have met both my behavior coach and my nutritionist (I meet the exercise physiologist next week), but...I'm flat on my back and not really able to do much in terms of watching what I eat or exercising.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Bummer, hunh?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I've had back issues from time to time from years. It's a family tradition, really. My mom's had back issues. My uncle. My aunt. It was bound to happen.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This back issue started on Sunday. I wish I could say I was dancing the tango or doing the limbo or even just sashaying down the street after a parade. In fact, I was changing the sheets.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Yup. Done in by 800 count linens (or whatever they are).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Actually, that moment wasn't so bad. I immediately laid down and stretched and felt pretty good until a few hours later when I moved a stool. Crack. Did it again.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">That was bad, but not awful. I stretched again. On Monday, I worked on my Mardi Gras costume, but also rested. It was damp out, probably not the best weather. We were going to go to a parade, but just ended up going downtown for a little while, which was probably a good thing.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Then came Mardi Gras.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'm sure many of you think Mardi Gras is the drunken porn fest you see on TV. You think the revelers are hedonistic pagans. In reality, Mardi Gras is a (mostly) family friendly celebration of creativity. With a lot of walking. And even more standing. And some alcohol.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Did I say <b>A LOT</b> of walking and <b>A LOT</b> of standing?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">That DID ME IN.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">By the end of the day, my back was <i><b>throbbing</b></i>.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Thankfully, I had had the foresight to take Wednesday off and was able to rest. I'd probably be in a pretty good position had I not tried to get our <a href="http://argonnechronicles.blogspot.com/2012/12/a-four-legged-problem.html" target="_blank">puppy</a> into her crate. The combination of her 28 lbs and the angle I was at combined to make a big CRACK. Lots of pain. And I haven't been right since.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I've been in bed all day. On heat and ice. In pain. I have to hope it will go away, because I just cannot afford the chiropractor right now.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After talking to my nutritionist, I was all set to make lovely, healthy meals that looked like an advertisement for MyPlate.gov. Instead, I'm eating what's quick and able to be consumed in a nearly prone position. I'm certainly not exercising.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So, I will be #Retrofitting myself...eventually. When I can walk again. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">(c) Argonne <span style="font-size: x-small;">Chronicles 2013</span></span>HynesMomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10918950206079506047noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2353025631459641438.post-76725633671705178102013-02-04T20:15:00.004-06:002013-02-04T20:15:54.199-06:00Still waiting to launch<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I've met one of my #Retrofit team members (my program advisor), but I don't feel as though I have fully started. This week I'll meet my behavior coach, next week my registered dietician, and finally in week three my exercise physiologist.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">On top of that, it took me almost a week to get all of my tech tools (the scale and the wearable accelerometer) linked up and working the way they are supposed to.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Meanwhile, I've been tracking what I eat online and have been trying to more-or-less be "good," although considering we are in Carnival season, that's not always easy.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'm looking forward to meeting the rest of the team...but anxious, too. I mean, what can they possibly tell me that I don't already know? How can they fix those crazy nights when we're racing home from a therapy appointment and Dylan has a mountain of homework that he simply can't complete without someone (read: me) rightnexttohim? How do you make a healthy meal in those 10 minute after homework is finally completed before bedtime? How do I incorporate more exercise in that schedule, too? How do I make lighter meals for me while feeding the pickiest kid on the planet and a HungryMan RockStar?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So many questions! And right now I'm in a holding pattern, waiting to find out what they have in store. Eager, anxious, and ready.</span>HynesMomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10918950206079506047noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2353025631459641438.post-56058332185332562802013-01-25T21:19:00.000-06:002013-01-25T21:19:29.108-06:00I am being #Retrofitted!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-gLOjsvZY-Os/UQNJOj6jYrI/AAAAAAAAAKU/A102B-gCAtM/s1600/4517197776.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-gLOjsvZY-Os/UQNJOj6jYrI/AAAAAAAAAKU/A102B-gCAtM/s320/4517197776.jpg" width="317" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The folks at #Retrofit actually sent me a scale. This isn't it.</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After my last rather glum post, I've found a definite reason to smile and feel blessed. I won a year's membership with <a href="http://www.retrofitme.com/" target="_blank">#Retrofit</a> thanks to a blog contest by one of my very favorite bloggers.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If you are not following <a href="http://www.pragmaticmom.com/" target="_blank">Pragmatic Mom</a>, you definitely should be. Mia largely blogs about great children's books, but that alone does not describe her blog. Books are the theme, but she doesn't limit herself to that. Along the way, you get tips on parenting, blogging, gift giving, and how to be good to yourself. She's very very real. Read through a few posts and you'll want to grab a cup of coffee with her. I know I would like to, although a good 1,600 miles separates us!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">At the beginning of the year, Mia offered a blog contest with #Retrofit at the prize. I enter a lot of blog contests, but I <i>really</i> wanted to win this one! Amidst all my concerns about Dylan's education and well-being, there's this little teeny-tiny voice saying "What about me!?" Not to mention that despite my best efforts my weight has just been going up and up. I've gained 15 lbs just in the past year! I needed <i>something</i> to change and I'm really really hoping that #Retrofit is it!</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I should also give a shout out to <a href="http://www.afterbedtimeblog.com/" target="_blank">Vanita Cyril</a>. She's another Pragmatic Mom fan who guest posted on Pragmatic Mom about her experience with #Retrofit. I hope to follow in her footsteps! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Through it all, I will share my journey with y'all. I know many moms (like <a href="http://www.beingeverythingbutmom.com/" target="_blank">this one </a>and <a href="http://www.singlemomonabudget.com/" target="_blank">this one</a>) who are trying to make this year the year for <i>them. </i>We all love our kids, but it's hard to be a good mom when you are stressed out and are living only for other people.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><u></u> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Am I nervous? Yup. Do I think it will be easy? Nope.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'll share more about my anxieties about it in a later post. I have my first meeting with my program advisor on Monday. I'll try to post soon after but one of the first rules of 2013 has got to be: Don't stress yourself out. With work and homework and trying to eat healthy, finding time to blog may not be easy, plus our internet has been a bit inconsistent lately. I hope to figure that out, but count on most posts coming over the weekend.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Wish me luck! I'll keep you posted!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">(c) Argonne Chronicles 2013</span> </span>HynesMomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10918950206079506047noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2353025631459641438.post-51113150581437521922013-01-16T13:07:00.002-06:002013-01-16T13:08:33.423-06:00Am I at a crossroads?<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I started the year off well. I had my resolutions in hand (written down!) and I had even given myself a month-to-month list of goals. (Thank you Gretchen Rubin and <i><a href="http://www.happiness-project.com/" target="_blank">The Happiness Project</a>.)</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It wasn't long, however, before I started slide.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Everything seemed grey. Difficult. Too much.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">(It probably didn't help that our weather has been grey and a bit difficult.) </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'm normally go-go-go, but all I seemed to want to do was stay in bed with the covers over my head. I wanted to sleep, which is my go-to avoidance technique. Or read, which I spent an entire Saturday afternoon doing.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I didn't like my world, so I entered the pages of another.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And it's not over yet. I'm a bit better, but still grey.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You might ask, "So, why don't you just get a prescription and take that all away? All the cool kids are doing it."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'm sure my doc would do it, but would that really solve anything? It's not like I'm just chemically depressed. A bit of winter-induced sunshine deficit. No, and in fact, I even think it's the desire to change, to make resolutions and do better that has put me here!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">There's a realization that there is A LOT to tackle. And not everything fits into a month-to-month plan.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">For instance, February was going to be budget month. Get our finances in line, trim those expenses, pay off some debt. But before we could even get there, for the second month in a row, we overdrew.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Now, we are <b>not</b> profligate spenders. We do not have the big DVR/High-Def/500-channel satellite channel. We've got your basic cable on an old big box TV. We have cut back on dining out such that I look forward to my mother-in-law's visits so that we can actually sit in a restaurant. I buy clothes only when something has worn out beyond fixing or I have outgrown something (which is happening to me, much to my chagrin). We keep the thermostat adjusted, buy the cheapest gas, and shop at WalMart (which grates on my soul). The bottom line is that we can't live on my pretty steady salary and RockStar's erratic one.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So not even a month in and January's plan (set better routines) was usurped by February's.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I know, it's not Armageddon, but for whatever reason it set me off. I realized how much the frustrations in my life are interconnected. It's hard to work on one thing exclusively, while the others are screaming for attention. It's overwhelming. Right now, I feel as though all of these things need my immediate attention:</span><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Finances - earn more money</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Finances - pay off bills/lower bills</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dylan's education - figure out some sort of way to help his failing grades (without spending money on tutoring)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dylan's socio-emotional needs - figure out ways to help him deal with anger (without more costly doctor bills)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Home management - get us on a more consistent schedule with healthier meals and a balance between leisure and school/work</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Time management - get it all (my work, home management, helping Dylan with school, Scouts, and oh yeah, time for myself) done without killing myself</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Weight/Health - Eat better and work out more without actually taking up any more time</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Creativity - Feed my creative soul, again without actually taking up any more time or resources</span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And that list doesn't nclude room for friendship or even nurturing my relationship with RockStar which has its troubles thanks to that uneven financial picture and my current negative body image. Oh, and I still need a way to resolve my feelings about the new dog.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So, what's my solution, right? You've read this far, you figure there's a neat happy ending? Yeah, well, unfortunately I feel as though I'm still in the thick of it. Still fighting the grey desire to just cover my head with blankets and read a good book. I'm going to work and doing what needs to be done, but it's hard. Today I'm meeting with Dylan's teacher and it's nearly my undoing. I feel as though I need to go through it, not medicate it, but we'll see.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>How do you handle overwhelm? Is there a way to make it all fit? </b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />(c) The Argonne Chronicles 2013</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> </span>HynesMomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10918950206079506047noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2353025631459641438.post-55261959778917613622013-01-05T21:58:00.000-06:002013-01-05T21:58:32.544-06:00The Discriminating H<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Z6AFla52ioo/UOj2IiMyo0I/AAAAAAAAAKE/5r7pE14Q8Bg/s1600/H.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Z6AFla52ioo/UOj2IiMyo0I/AAAAAAAAAKE/5r7pE14Q8Bg/s320/H.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When Dylan was first diagnosed, the official diagnosis was ADHD-Inattentive Type. This corresponds with the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, or DSM, which provides the standard diagnosis language and assessment of mental disorders used by mental health professionals. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">At one time, the DSM recognized attention deficit disorder and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder separately. I don't pretend to know why the Powers That Be that write, edit, and classify things in the DSM made the change, but I suspect that it had to do with the great deal of crossover among the different types.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Today, the DSM definition of ADHD is broken into three classifications: inattentive, hyperactive, and combined types.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Over time, it has become apparent that Dylan is actually classified as combined type. While inattention to things that are not compelling to him is easily the area that most handicaps him, he also has trouble sitting still, he talks a blue streak, and he's impulsive.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As not just an ADHD parent, but also an ADHD advocate, I will pretty easily share our story. The more parents share what they, their kids, and their families go through, the more I believe the stigma will be reduced. I fear, however, that there remains two distinct levels of stigma.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Often when I share that Dylan has ADHD, another parent will be quick to respond, "Oh, my son has ADD" or "My daughter has that, but without the H." It's obvious that there's a subtle distinction begin made. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If we're ever going to make a difference in the lives of kids and adults with ADHD, we don't need to be making distinctions that could serve to separate some of those who suffer from this disorder. We need to share what it's like, how it makes our kids' lives difficult, what the challenges are, what the successes are, and what makes these kids special, not what separates them from other kids or from each other.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Skin color should not divide us. Sexual orientation should not divide us. And neither should an H.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">(c) The<span style="font-size: x-small;"> Argonne Chronicles, 2013</span></span></span>HynesMomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10918950206079506047noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2353025631459641438.post-43095462910800609132012-12-26T22:06:00.001-06:002012-12-26T22:06:32.561-06:00Clearing out the Clutter<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">December is crazy.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I know this isn't news. The holidays take it out of the best of us.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">But to me - for me - it's more than the holidays. It's the fact that the holidays coincide with exams. The weekend before the weekend before Christmas - you know, that time when you should be running around finishing things up so that the focus the weekend before Christmas is on family and not on wrapping, baking, or shopping - is now the focus of intense study. With Dylan's grades such as they are, that meant A LOT of studying. So there went that final bit of shopping. No, I didn't get my wrapping done. And forget about baking.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Don't get me wrong - it was the right thing to do. I can't say that the effort was directly proportional to the results, but it was still the right thing to do. But it made for a somewhat frustrating weekend, a bit a nightmarish week, and then a truly frantic weekend preparing for Christmas.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Were there ways I could've avoided all that? Many blogs and websites will give you a resounding "Yes!" I could've done a lot of that shopping and wrapping and even baking much earlier in the fall. But the fact of the matter is that I was completely buried with work earlier in the fall, so that really wasn't realistic in the life I was living.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So. There we were. Or I was. Weekend before Christmas. Craziness. Wrapping. A little bit of leftover shopping. Christmas cards (I'll admit, they are not even done yet!). Church activities. Family activities. It was nuts.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Again, it was well worth it and this time, the effort was much more in proportion with the results on Christmas morning. (Big sigh!)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We are now left with the detritus of Christmas day surrounding us. Bags, baubles, and bits. Legos scattered far and wide. Boxes half opened everywhere. Time to clear the clutter.</span><br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/--pAMuz9HAyU/UNvI8IGyCuI/AAAAAAAAAJ0/z-hGicySPSE/s1600/1359011791.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/--pAMuz9HAyU/UNvI8IGyCuI/AAAAAAAAAJ0/z-hGicySPSE/s320/1359011791.jpg" width="224" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Note: This is NOT my house!</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The thing is, I know that it's time to clear out more than the physical clutter, although that is a big part of it. It's amazing to me that seven years after losing almost everything to Katrina, we have SO MUCH stuff. Today, I cleared out some of it - a massive amount of clothing I wasn't (or couldn't) wear. It was sad and felt good all at the same time. Our church's homeless program will benefit from it greatly.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And I know it's just one step. There's more - much more - clutter to clear out. Clutter that's holding me back physically. And clutter of mind that's holding me back mentally. It has to go. 2013 has to be a completely different year than 2012. I need to parent more effectively. I need to tend to my own needs better. We need to manage our funds more closely. We need to eat more healthfully and get more activity, all of us. </span>HynesMomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10918950206079506047noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2353025631459641438.post-54824891105647267902012-12-12T22:03:00.001-06:002012-12-12T22:03:39.415-06:00A Four-Legged Problem<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Something I haven't talked about much here but is intimately connected with me is my sheer, unadulterated love of dogs.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">I have loved dogs for as long as I can remember. When I was growing up, our next-door neighbor had a super mean German Shepherd who would come running up to the fence growling and snarling.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">As soon as I could walk, I would go right up to him and scare my mother half to death in the process.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">As I set out on an independent, post-college life, I got a dog and a van and traveled cross country (more on that some other day).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Within six months of getting together, RockStar and I had adopted a Golden Retriever and <a href="http://argonnechronicles.blogspot.com/2012/09/farewell-to-princess.html" target="_blank">our husky</a> arrived less than a year later.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">I am physically unable to avoid meeting dogs wherever I go. I joke that my mission in life is to meet every dog on the planet. I'm literally drawn to them like a magnet.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Which is why it is so incredibly disconcerting to have adopted a dog and to not be in love with her.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">This is Cassidy:</span><br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-4cQAfn0c97E/UMlQYqJQifI/AAAAAAAAAJg/FOZbcuamK4Y/s1600/Cassidy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-4cQAfn0c97E/UMlQYqJQifI/AAAAAAAAAJg/FOZbcuamK4Y/s320/Cassidy.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">(along with RockStar and Dylan).</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">We adopted her two weeks ago. Best gues<span style="font-size: small;">s is that she is a bloodhound/basset hound mix. I <i>want</i> <span style="font-size: small;">to love her.<span style="font-size: small;"> But she<span style="font-size: small;"> <span style="font-size: small;">bit<span style="font-size: small;">es and when you tell her <span style="font-size: small;">no, <span style="font-size: small;">she <span style="font-size: small;">stands up to you and barks indign<span style="font-size: small;">antly<span style="font-size: small;">, like "Who are you to tell me what to do." We've been doing <i>everything</i> recommended, but nothing takes. She is as defiant as ever. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Keep in mind<span style="font-size: small;"> that I did NOT want a puppy. I like to adopt <span style="font-size: small;">dogs who are a little b<span style="font-size: small;">it older. For one thing, <i>everyon<span style="font-size: small;">e </span></i><span style="font-size: small;">adopts the puppies. </span></span></span>They don't last in the shelter! For another, when they are a little older, they've worked these puppy issues out.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Admittedly, it's more than that. This just isn't the <span style="font-size: small;">type of breed <span style="font-size: small;">mix I <span style="font-size: small;">would have chosen. I like a <u><b><span style="font-size: small;">BIG</span></b></u><span style="font-size: small;"> dog<span style="font-size: small;">, the bigger the better. Although her feet suggest size, her little legs tell you that she will only ever get so b<span style="font-size: small;">ig. I want a big lug to lean on me.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span> <br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">With everything we have going on here: a hyperactive kid who is failing and falling behind, a rock 'n' roll schedule to deal with, scouts, etc.<span style="font-size: small;">, a biting dog<span style="font-size: small;"> who wants to be <span style="font-size: small;">Top Dog is <span style="font-size: small;">so not what we need! I didn't pick her out (RockStar did<span style="font-size: small;">) and while I was "consulted" it was not in a "let's talk about this<span style="font-size: small;">, <span style="font-size: small;">what kind of dog do we want<span style="font-size: small;">" kind of way. It was a "here's a video, isn't she gr<span style="font-size: small;">eat, I'm in love with her, Dylan <span style="font-size: small;">really wants a <span style="font-size: small;">puppy<span style="font-size: small;">" kind of way.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">I feel like an id<span style="font-size: small;">iot for going along with i<span style="font-size: small;">t all. But like so often, I do just go along...it's easier being Switz<span style="font-size: small;">erland and not having too many opinions or being selective in the things I do have opi<span style="font-size: small;">nions on. <span style="font-size: small;">Still, who do you think is coming home at lunch to let her <span style="font-size: small;">ou<span style="font-size: small;">t? Who took her to the shelter for her final puppy shots? Whose been calling breeders and t<span style="font-size: small;">rainers to ask about her wild ways?</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">I <i>want </i><span style="font-size: small;">to love her<span style="font-size: small;">. If she woul<span style="font-size: small;">d just stop biting everyone and everything and - more importantly - <span style="font-size: small;">trying to be the Alpha dog, may<span style="font-size: small;">be it would be okay. I<span style="font-size: small;"> have <i>never</i> abandoned a dog and <span style="font-size: small;">I do not want to start now.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">(c) The Argonne Chronicles 2012</span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span> HynesMomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10918950206079506047noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2353025631459641438.post-24849784318072984462012-12-10T21:47:00.000-06:002012-12-10T21:47:22.908-06:00Mr. Toad's Wild Ride<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-pfKtJav0hp8/UMakZ64zLHI/AAAAAAAAAJQ/tk9rGqjCqTI/s1600/53068947.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-pfKtJav0hp8/UMakZ64zLHI/AAAAAAAAAJQ/tk9rGqjCqTI/s320/53068947.jpg" width="224" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It's never easy to know the right thing to do when you are an ADHD parent. Okay may be good enough, but doesn't there always seem to be something better out there?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Like most kids with ADHD, Dylan has been on a variety of medications since he was first diagnosed. Daytrana, Metadate, Focalin, and Vyvanse. He was actually on Vyvanse twice. The first time we tried it, he had terrible letdown when the meds wore off. This time, it seemed to have worked adequately well. Not as well as the first month of Metadate, but that's a nirvana we will probably never see again.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So the Vyvanse would keep him relatively focused and lasted a fair amount of the day, but something was still missing. His math and social studies grades have remained in the D-F range, and his recall for what goes on in class has been minimal.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Now, I fully realize there is no drug to address executive function deficits, but I cannot help wondering if he could just focus better and longer, maybe he could remember a bit more and better understand what he learns.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Finding a psychiatrist has been something of a challenge. Our pediatrician, whom I love, didn't seem too enthusiastic about our going to one (afraid of losing the business? I don't know.). The first one we went to would routinely be two to two-and-a-half hours late for appointments, which was unacceptable. We were ready to see a psychologist with prescription privileges until she left the practice. And no one - no one - seemed to be on our insurance.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So we went with a recommended doc <i>not</i> on our insurance. Sigh...</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As expensive as it is, she's been wonderful. We've only seen her twice but she is very straight-forward and includes Dylan in on everything in a very age-appropriate way.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Her approach is "Let's try it and see." She would rather try something to find a better choice than stick it out with a less-than-ideal option. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, and you can always go back is the way she operates. I like it.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">First, she had us try a higher dose of the Vyvanse. You would think dose A is good, bigger dose B is better, right? Not so much. He was <i>less </i>focused. The same thing, actually, had happened when we had upped the Metadate. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Two weeks ago, we were set to try Straterra. She said it doesn't work for at least half of kids, but for those whom it does work for, it works great. Worth trying except...we couldn't get Dylan to swallow pills. It's mental rather than physical, but you can't exactly <i>make</i> someone swallow something.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A week later, she put Dylan on Tenex compounded by a local pharmacy as a liquid. Dylan balked but we were able to get it in him. As expected, he was <i>very</i> sleepy the first few days. Just as he started feeling better, the dose went up to two times a day and it was back to feeling tired and out of it. The doc encouraged patience...but in the end Dylan couldn't take it. He said he felt "dumb" and that he did worse in class than when he was on no medication.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So, we're back to Vyvanse. Only by the time we pulled off of the Tenex it was a Friday and we only had TWO capsules left. I didn't realize it until Saturday when one of those was gone. So we went the whole weekend without meds (challenging but doable). Today, I gave him some short-acting Ritalin I had from an old bump-up afternoon prescription for him. It seemed like a good idea...until we got home when the scream fest began. NO homework got done tonight and we had lots of yelling, drama, and accusations.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Tomorrow, he'll have the remaining Vyvanse and tomorrow afternoon we see the psychiatrist again and can get a refill prescription. It seems like "halleluia" but the reality it's just back to what we have had. We want better, but it could be that all we can have for now is okay and good enough. It's not fair that a bright boy with so much potential can't focus, remember, or retain enough to have even a moderate amount of success; that he daily feels like the "dumbest kid in the class."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It's not fair, but I guess right now not fair but adequate has to be good enough.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">(c) <span style="font-size: x-small;">2012 The Argonne Chronicles</span></span> </span>HynesMomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10918950206079506047noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2353025631459641438.post-26541393182467892852012-11-28T22:31:00.001-06:002012-11-28T22:31:54.794-06:00Life as a Lamborghini<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-seaspgEYIlc/ULbk0I-07oI/AAAAAAAAAI4/KmwoaZ5SPWo/s1600/191902299.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="255" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-seaspgEYIlc/ULbk0I-07oI/AAAAAAAAAI4/KmwoaZ5SPWo/s320/191902299.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">I was thinking about Dylan’s challenges with school and
homework today, how frustrating it is for him, how difficult it is for him to
get through his day, complete his school tasks, and take in and remember the
information the teachers are trying to share with him. I’ve been trying to refocus
my efforts with him to find a way to encourage him but build up his self-esteem
at the same time. Help him to believe in himself, even when signs sometimes
point to the contrary.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">That’s when I suddenly realized what Dylan is.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">He is a high-performance sports car, like a Lamborghini or a
Ferrari.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Now, most people I know would love to have fine Italian
sports car like that. I know I had a poster of a Lamborghini in my college dorm
room. These are <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">desirable </i>cars. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">But as desirable as they are, they are not ideal in all
situations.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">You see, Dylan as a Lamborghini is single-mindedly focused
on getting to his destination. He wants to drive FAST; 120mph fast. He’s built
for it and that speed will get him to his destination in no time. It’s not that
he cannot focus, but that his focus is on ONE THING.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Unfortunately, his tasks are not focused on that same one
thing. The goal is still to get “there,” but, in order to get there, he has to fulfill
other tasks. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">For starters, he has to make a whole bunch of deliveries.
Lamborghinis don’t even have trunks, do they? So he’s got to stow the packages
that need to be delivered in the passenger seat and even tie some to the roof.
So right there, he’s slowed down, because a package on the roof wreaks havoc on
aerodynamics. Plus he’s got to make all these stops! He doesn’t want to do it
and he doesn’t really even get how to get all these packages on board
efficiently. He might even lose one off the roof and have to turn back.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Then there are the passengers! He’s already got space
problems thanks to the packages, but before he can get to his destination,
there are people he needs to pick up and drop off. Where are they and how is he
going to fit them in? He doesn’t even like some of them!</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Did I mention that the roads are not all super-speed
highways? Nope.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some are city roads with
plenty of stop signs and traffic signals.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Lamborghinis hate stop lights, haven’t you noticed? You can’t pick up
any kind of speed if you have to stop every 4-6 blocks! Oh, and some of the
roads are horrible. Way out of the way and bumpy, full of pot holes and speed
bumps. Not ideal for something low-slung and meant for speed.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Given all that, it’s not a wonder that he gets grumpy
sometimes!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">During tonight’s meltdown (over social studies), I explained
my theory. And he loved it! It made total sense to him, and helped him to see
that while ADHD slows him down sometimes and makes some things difficult, it’s
not necessarily a bad thing. Sports cars are great! But there’s a reason why
there are so many Toyota Camrys on the road. It may not be flashy and it may
not be able to go 120mph, but they will get you there in a reasonable time, you’ll
get there safely, and you can take a bumps and stop lights a whole lot better.
More kids and more adults are Camrys than Lamborghinis. But the Lamborghinis
are special. You have to treat them well and take care of them, and they do end
up in the shop more often than the old reliable Camry, but no one – NO ONE –
ever put of a poster of a Camry on their dorm room wall. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">I know I didn’t.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">(c) 2012 The Argonne Chronicles </span></span></div>
HynesMomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10918950206079506047noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2353025631459641438.post-2795957460682663192012-11-22T22:35:00.002-06:002012-11-22T22:35:39.446-06:00Creeping back in...<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">If you are a regular follower of this blog, I haven’t given
you much to read lately, have I?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sorry
about that. I have to claim professional obligations. While I love this blog
for its mutual therapeutic properties, when push came to shove, work had to
come first.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">I work for an academic unit of a university and we were celebrating
a major milestone. Two years had gone into the planning of it, much of it
directed by me, and we had finally come to the big weekend extravaganza!
Seminars, luncheons, and a gala that had all been concepts became reality.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Reality also involved nearly 80 hours of work a week for the
few weeks leading up to it. I don’t have to tell you how challenging it was to
not only work that much and that hard, but to keep up with parenting my
challenging guy at the same time!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">And did I mention I had to fly to a conference in San
Francisco in the midst of all that? Yeah, not easy.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">But the event came and went (<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">successfully</i>, I might add!) and I am<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>s l o w l y<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>recapturing my life. Unfortunately, I’m doing so just as the holiday
season is revving up!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While I took this
week off to recharge, it’s been more of a reheat…as in cooking, that is!
Regardless, it’s been great to be in my own home with no work deadlines looming
overhead. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">I can’t promise a complete turnaround in my blogging, but I
do hope to get back into it, share some of what’s been going on with us, and,
honestly, spend more time with myself! </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Happy Thanksgiving to one and all! I hope you are as
thankful for your special kid(s) as I am for my easy to love, but challenging
boy.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-EUgLuDyKDHI/UK77iXKyHNI/AAAAAAAAAIY/W3NRhsGSOAM/s1600/154365_10151180579983075_1829719484_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-EUgLuDyKDHI/UK77iXKyHNI/AAAAAAAAAIY/W3NRhsGSOAM/s320/154365_10151180579983075_1829719484_n.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Ul6ag77h6eo/UK782XEGGoI/AAAAAAAAAIg/OoRfptQrQe4/s1600/599975_10151180610428075_302284966_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Ul6ag77h6eo/UK782XEGGoI/AAAAAAAAAIg/OoRfptQrQe4/s320/599975_10151180610428075_302284966_n.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"> (c) 2012 The Argonne Chronicles</span></span></div>
HynesMomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10918950206079506047noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2353025631459641438.post-83963687590327095512012-09-28T12:00:00.000-05:002012-09-28T13:28:07.677-05:00You are not alone!<div style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;">
<img alt="Easy to Love but Hard to Raise" class="alignright size-full wp-image-16" height="308" src="http://www.easytolovebut.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/small_cover_shadow_200.png" title="small_cover_shadow_200" width="220" /></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I had always intended to have reviews of books and products I have read or tried on this blog, but so far I think my only review has been of a movie.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Until now...</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If you have been an ADHD parent for any length of time, chances are you have seen the book "Easy to Love, but Hard to Raise." I'm here to tell you that you <a href="http://www.drtpress.com/index.php?option=com_virtuemart&Itemid=54&vmcchk=1&Itemid=54" target="_blank"><u><b>must buy this book right now!</b></u></a></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The folks over at DRT Press contacted me over the summer to ask if I wanted to be included in the book's "blog tour." I was very honored and thrilled for the opportunity to read the book, and even more thrilled that it arrived just before we went on vacation for a week at the beach so I had time to really dive into it.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You know that moms are consummate researchers, whether it's about feeding, sleeping, natural childbirth, diet, or a disorder. So much of that kind of research, however, can make you feel like <u><b>you</b></u> are doing it wrong; <u><b>you</b></u> are the only one who ____ (fill in the blank with your own special guilt); <u><b>you</b></u> just can't handle it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"Easy to Love" is the first book I've read that helps you see that you are <u><b>not</b></u> alone and that you <u><b>aren't</b></u> doing it all wrong, or at least any different than someone else in your position would do.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The book is a compilation of stories by many, many moms and at least one dad. Some of the stories will comfort you. Some might even scare you, especially if you have a long way to go on this journey. And some will relieve you when you realize how much more challenging it <i><b>could </b></i>be.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><u><b></b></u></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You especially learn that there are as many ways to raise an easy to love (ETL) child as there are ETL parents!</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It is surely difficult to raise a child with diabetes, or cerebral palsy, or muscular dystrophy, but all of those are at least somewhat obvious conditions and no one will point a finger at you for causing it or for the outcome. The diagnosis for ETL kids is so often invisible; therefore your parenting - especially what goes on behind the scenes - is also invisible. When your child acts out, you are a bad parent. When your child can't write an essay, you are too permissive. When your child is bossy, causing him or her to lose friends, obviously you sheltered him and let him have his way too much.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This book erases all those negative thoughts and myths and replaces them. It shows how other parents just like you also feel judged and feel guilty. And survive.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Probably my favorite part about the book are the short blurbs after each story telling you about the author. Often in those short, italicized blurbs, you learn how the child in the story <i><b>did</b></i> overcome his or her challenges, at least the ones in the story. You hear of ETL kids growing up and going out on their own, which at times seems impossible to imagine when you are in the thick of it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We need to hear these stories. We need to know that while it's tough, it's a journey we will get through. We need to know that we are doing the right thing and that if we believe in our children and believe in ourselves, we'll reach our own, right conclusion to our own story.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You can learn more about the book and about the wonderfully supportive Easy to Love community at their <a href="http://www.easytolovebut.com/" target="_blank">blog site</a>. The site provides links to purchase the book directly from the publisher or through popular booksellers like Amazon or BN.com. You'll also find a link to their Facebook page which is a treasure trove of daily encouragement. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-size: x-small;">While I was provided with a copy of the book reviewed, all reviews and comments are my own. (c) Argonne Chronicles, 2012.</span></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>HynesMomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10918950206079506047noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2353025631459641438.post-80519708743360105462012-09-27T22:02:00.001-05:002012-09-27T22:03:22.740-05:00Farewell to a Princess<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Although I normally write about my one Trouble Child, I have another... or I did until last night. This Trouble Child didn't keep me up with homework or talk back or refuse to take a bath. Her special brand of trouble involved escaping and running through the streets of our neighborhood and digging her way through couches to escape thunderstorms. Here is my remembrance of her.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">It is with much sadness that I report the passing of
Princess Nikita of the Great White North.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Nikki, as she was known to family, friends, and acquaintances, was an
independent but loving spirit who never met a stranger, human or canine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Rumors abounded about her early life as a
princess in a Siberian ice palace, where she had countless servants meeting her
every need.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How she went from a life of
luxury to life on the streets, no one knows, but her family is grateful that
she found her way to them.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">She was employed throughout her New Orleans life in pest
control, a job she undertook with great zest, instilling fear in the hearts of
rodents, birds, and lizards everywhere.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>In later years, she also did some acting, portraying Snowball, mascot of our local school.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In that role, she appeared at
events such as the Husky Fun Run, the groundbreaking for the new school building facility, and the building dedication, an event attended by numerous local
dignitaries. She reveled in the
opportunity to meet her fans, but always shunned the paparazzi.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Nikki was also known for her singing, wailing melodies that
were haunting yet beautiful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the last
year of her life, she had largely given up singing although she still did
occasionally say a few words in husky speak. Throughout her life, her family
encouraged her vocalizations, often joining in with her, comforting her and
making her family feel more like a pack. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">She enjoyed late night forays to the Saturn Bar in the
Bywater, where she would sit at the bar, drink martinis, and smoke cigarettes.
In fact, she enjoyed independent forays anywhere, choosing to slip past
unsuspecting guests as they entered the front door or dig out from her backyard
to pursue adventures far and wide. Nothing was more fun to her than being
chased by family member!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">She leaves her loving parents and her boy,
Dylan, whom she loved from the moment she met him, choosing to believe that her
parents had brought him home especially for her. She joins her big brother
Oakley, a gregarious golden retriever who preceded her in death five years ago.
She will be missed by many and a certain window on our street will look
lonely for the lack of a watchful husky.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Donations in her memory can be made to the Louisiana SPCA,
where her family found her, or simply choose to adopt rather than buy. So many
beautiful animals like Nikki need homes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Until there are none, adopt one and make your house a home for a
homeless dog…or a princess. </span></div>
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HynesMomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10918950206079506047noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2353025631459641438.post-55556992130169353292012-09-10T21:49:00.000-05:002012-09-10T21:49:19.742-05:00Primal Scream<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-twwErwUXbGA/UE6kwy3jUWI/AAAAAAAAAHc/xY7NF_DhUDU/s1600/2907292736.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="261" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-twwErwUXbGA/UE6kwy3jUWI/AAAAAAAAAHc/xY7NF_DhUDU/s320/2907292736.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You would think with the <a href="http://argonnechronicles.blogspot.com/2012/09/a-spark-of-hope.html" target="_blank">Spark of Hope </a>and all that things would be on the upswing. And maybe they are, but I guess no path is without its bumps.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It was one of <i>those</i> mornings. You moms know what I mean. Arguments every second of it. Practically dressing the child to get him out the door. Running back inside for something. Arguing on the way to school.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It shouldn't have been.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I <strike>told</strike> warned Dylan that I had to be at a meeting at 8:00am and that he had studying to do in the morning. Of course, he didn't think about that at 6:00am when I first turned his light on, but he also didn't think much of it when I finally got him vertical and he started getting dressed.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">He did "study" as in read the words on the page, but I doubt strongly he was prepared to read it in class from memory (which he was supposed to).</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I warned him again that TV (which wasn't even supposed to be on until he was dressed and had fully studied) had to be off at 7:20am. At that point, all that should've been left would've been to brush his teeth. In reality, there were shoes to get on, a belt to find, and the teeth to be brushed.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I said I wanted to be <b>out the door</b> by 7:25am at the latest. Of course it was after 7:30am when we finally got out. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I did harp, I'll admit. Dylan's response was, "Well, you know I'm not the fastest boy on the planet!" which launched a <strike>discussion</strike> argument over whether that was an excuse or not. (<b>NOT, </b>when you've been warned every step of the way what is coming next and why.)</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When he finally got out of the car, I lost it. Alone, by myself, but I lost it. Screamed. And screamed. And screamed.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When I was in college, "the primal scream" was very popular. They even had primal scream events when everyone went to the green and screamed to release stress. I thought it was supposed to help, but it just made my throat sore, and may have primed me for more screaming later.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">That additional screaming occurred hours later when I realized I had <i><b>forgotten</b></i> to give Dylan his meds. I <i><b>really</b></i> lost it that time. Totally <i><b>broke down</b></i>. Cried, screamed, yelled, you name it. For at least 30-45 minutes. Fortunately, I had a surprise reprieve from work and could do so. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The stress - <b>so much stress</b> - has obviously been building up. Dylan's ADHD. Lots of negative stress at work. A less-than-stellar relationship with RockStar. Worries over money, nutrition, weight, my mom, cub scouts, our dog, our roof, you name it.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Now, I'm <u>not</u> a worrier by trademark. But <b>a lot</b> has been going on. Too much and I cannot get a handle on any of it. Or rather I try to get a handle on all of it, and everything suffers.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I don't know what happens next. I read Tsh's <a href="http://simplemom.net/dear-me/" target="_blank">blog letter to her 15-year-old self</a> and I know I am feeling just what she describes toward the end when she more-or-less breaks down in Greece. My only question is: when do I get the plane ticket to Santorini?!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Seriously, <i><b>something</b></i> has to give, but I <i><b>honestly</b></i> have no idea what it will be. I'm, gulp, talking to my pastor tomorrow (something I've never done - talk to clergy about a problem and get pastoral care). And I made an appointment to talk to a social worker next week. And I'm "talking" here. I feel like burrowing under my covers for...forever. But I know that is not an option. I'm just so tired of being responsible for what feel like <i><b>everything</b></i>.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If you've read this far, thank you for listing to my rant. When I was screaming and crying I kept yelling, "I have no one to talk to." It was like all this <i><b>stuff</b></i> was coming out. Stuff that apparently has been bothering me, under the surface, but has been hidden by all the <i><b>stuff</b></i> I do.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">No one primal screams anymore. When I looked it up, I had to hunt for it amid bands with that name. Considering how it turned out, I don't recommend it. When <b>you</b> feel like screaming, please, just stop and get a latté or something. Don't unleash the furies like I did.</span>HynesMomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10918950206079506047noreply@blogger.com9