Friday, September 28, 2012

You are not alone!

Easy to Love but Hard to Raise
I had always intended to have reviews of books and products I have read or tried on this blog, but so far I think my only review has been of a movie.

Until now...

If you have been an ADHD parent for any length of time, chances are you have seen the book "Easy to Love, but Hard to Raise."  I'm here to tell you that you must buy this book right now!

The folks over at DRT Press contacted me over the summer to ask if I wanted to be included in the book's "blog tour."  I was very honored and thrilled for the opportunity to read the book, and even more thrilled that it arrived just before we went on vacation for a week at the beach so I had time to really dive into it.

You know that moms are consummate researchers, whether it's about feeding, sleeping, natural childbirth, diet, or a disorder. So much of that kind of research, however, can make you feel like you are doing it wrong; you are the only one who ____ (fill in the blank with your own special guilt); you just can't handle it.

"Easy to Love" is the first book I've read that helps you see that you are not alone and that you aren't doing it all wrong, or at least any different than someone else in your position would do.

The book is a compilation of stories by many, many moms and at least one dad. Some of the stories will comfort you. Some might even scare you, especially if you have a long way to go on this journey. And some will relieve you when you realize how much more challenging it could be.

You especially learn that there are as many ways to raise an easy to love (ETL) child as there are ETL parents!

It is surely difficult to raise a child with diabetes, or cerebral palsy, or muscular dystrophy, but all of those are at least somewhat obvious conditions and no one will point a finger at you for causing it or for the outcome. The diagnosis for ETL kids is so often invisible; therefore your parenting - especially what goes on behind the scenes - is also invisible. When your child acts out, you are a bad parent. When your child can't write an essay, you are too permissive. When your child is bossy, causing him or her to lose friends, obviously you sheltered him and let him have his way too much.

This book erases all those negative thoughts and myths and replaces them. It shows how other parents just like you also feel judged and feel guilty. And survive.

Probably my favorite part about the book are the short blurbs after each story telling you about the author. Often in those short, italicized blurbs, you learn how the child in the story did overcome his or her challenges, at least the ones in the story. You hear of ETL kids growing up and going out on their own, which at times seems impossible to imagine when you are in the thick of it.

We need to hear these stories. We need to know that while it's tough, it's a journey we will get through. We need to know that we are doing the right thing and that if we believe in our children and believe in ourselves, we'll reach our own, right conclusion to our own story.

You can learn more about the book and about the wonderfully supportive Easy to Love community at their blog site. The site provides links to purchase the book directly from the publisher or through popular booksellers like Amazon or  You'll also find a link to their Facebook page which is a treasure trove of daily encouragement.

While I was provided with a copy of the book reviewed, all reviews and comments are my own. (c) Argonne Chronicles, 2012.

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