I was thinking about Dylan’s challenges with school and
homework today, how frustrating it is for him, how difficult it is for him to
get through his day, complete his school tasks, and take in and remember the
information the teachers are trying to share with him. I’ve been trying to refocus
my efforts with him to find a way to encourage him but build up his self-esteem
at the same time. Help him to believe in himself, even when signs sometimes
point to the contrary.
That’s when I suddenly realized what Dylan is.
He is a high-performance sports car, like a Lamborghini or a
Ferrari.
Now, most people I know would love to have fine Italian
sports car like that. I know I had a poster of a Lamborghini in my college dorm
room. These are desirable cars.
But as desirable as they are, they are not ideal in all
situations.
You see, Dylan as a Lamborghini is single-mindedly focused
on getting to his destination. He wants to drive FAST; 120mph fast. He’s built
for it and that speed will get him to his destination in no time. It’s not that
he cannot focus, but that his focus is on ONE THING.
Unfortunately, his tasks are not focused on that same one
thing. The goal is still to get “there,” but, in order to get there, he has to fulfill
other tasks.
For starters, he has to make a whole bunch of deliveries.
Lamborghinis don’t even have trunks, do they? So he’s got to stow the packages
that need to be delivered in the passenger seat and even tie some to the roof.
So right there, he’s slowed down, because a package on the roof wreaks havoc on
aerodynamics. Plus he’s got to make all these stops! He doesn’t want to do it
and he doesn’t really even get how to get all these packages on board
efficiently. He might even lose one off the roof and have to turn back.
Then there are the passengers! He’s already got space
problems thanks to the packages, but before he can get to his destination,
there are people he needs to pick up and drop off. Where are they and how is he
going to fit them in? He doesn’t even like some of them!
Did I mention that the roads are not all super-speed
highways? Nope. Some are city roads with
plenty of stop signs and traffic signals.
Lamborghinis hate stop lights, haven’t you noticed? You can’t pick up
any kind of speed if you have to stop every 4-6 blocks! Oh, and some of the
roads are horrible. Way out of the way and bumpy, full of pot holes and speed
bumps. Not ideal for something low-slung and meant for speed.
Given all that, it’s not a wonder that he gets grumpy
sometimes!
During tonight’s meltdown (over social studies), I explained
my theory. And he loved it! It made total sense to him, and helped him to see
that while ADHD slows him down sometimes and makes some things difficult, it’s
not necessarily a bad thing. Sports cars are great! But there’s a reason why
there are so many Toyota Camrys on the road. It may not be flashy and it may
not be able to go 120mph, but they will get you there in a reasonable time, you’ll
get there safely, and you can take a bumps and stop lights a whole lot better.
More kids and more adults are Camrys than Lamborghinis. But the Lamborghinis
are special. You have to treat them well and take care of them, and they do end
up in the shop more often than the old reliable Camry, but no one – NO ONE –
ever put of a poster of a Camry on their dorm room wall.
I know I didn’t.
(c) 2012 The Argonne Chronicles
